My Homecoming

I am so happy and thankful today. God has blessed me His answer for a two-year prayer. He put me in a Bible school!

Actually, this thing is more than what I really wanted. Since I got to know Him, I loved diving into His word. My favorite part of the day is the time that I wake up in my room -- I could hear the birds chirping and see the sunlight peeping in my window. All the pessimism started to fade when I smiled thinking about Him as I began to sing. I sang from the depths of my heart like I was rehearsing for the final day that we will be seeing each other.

Then I would flip the Bible like a child reading her favorite fairy tale book. (The only difference is that what are in His book are real.) I would read about Him and memorize His promises. I collected gift bookmarks and stick on notes to carefully write small reflections on them. I remember how I put up with a few old highlighter pens to mark my favorite passages. Now I've got many but I seldom use them.

Surely I went through a slow fade, but this time, I rejoice because God just proved He wouldn't let me continuously drift away. This is the life that He bestowed me with -- and He would not allow my independence, self-pity and arrogance ruin His purpose for this life.

I am amazed in having this kind of privilege: living in a free country where I can cheaply study His word for a high cost, my transformation as a positive living witness of His love.

The desire to effectively witness to others becomes a burden in a positive way. I used to loathe it -- for I was overwhelmed with the troubles that pop out left and right. My 'me-and-myself' syndrome took over that small faith. And I plotted a battle plan to win over troubles, and so I drove this roller-coaster ride in high gear, until I get tired and tired.

Lately, through short reflections I learned how serious He is in communing with me. No wonder I was too hungry for His presence. Signing up for Bible school is the beginning of my repentance. This has been my heart's desire.

I longed to return to my first love -- the kind of love that doesn't hold back, doesn't count nor intend to hurt. The kind of love that swept me off my feet is just in my heart all along. He never left this place though I kept on walking away.

When I was sitting in that big room listening to my teacher, I could not explain the joy that I felt. Sitting with people who have different issues, seeing faces who long to get to know Him more and listening to laughter of satisfied souls assured me I was in the right place. It's like a homecoming.

I could not count how many homecomings I had in my seven-year relationship with Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter I guess. What's important is that He is always ready to welcome me back.

It's funny to realize that the happiness that I felt about my achievements couldn't compare to the joy that I have about Jesus' forgiveness. Being His child and the object of His affection is the best experience that a woman could ever have.

Now that I am becoming more dependent on His plan for this life, I must say that I become more excited to discover His surprises. I dare to see them with my own eyes and feel them with my own hands.