Being Good and Looking Good

46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."

49 "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

- Luke 2:46-52


I just love how Jesus did His part as God' Son and Mary and Joseph's child. Eventhough he had enough wisdom even as a young boy, he did not boast about it. He did His work for His Heavenly Father -- to talk about His love and will for mankind. He obeyed his parents and he grew in wisdom and stature in favor with God and men.

Most of the time, we would like to make our parents happy. And then the devotion stops there. We forget that we also have to please God.

Jesus' childhood was a good model for us to see the essence of faith in God. If we are dedicated to Him, we will show it not only in serving the church, but also by paying respects to our parents.

For children, it's easy to do. They would always need their parents so they are left with no choice but to be submissive. But for adults, it's hard. We can make decisions on our own and when those decisions clash with our parents' will or opinion, maintaining smooth relationship with them becomes a challenge.

This is the same challenge that I have been facing since I became a Christian. My parents totally disagree with my faith. It came to a point that they sent me out of the house. Instead of loving them as Christ loved me, I kept anger inside. It's an excruciating experience: for in the same heart I love God, but in the same heart lies hatred toward the souls who brought me up. After three years I learned to let go of my anger and through God's wisdom and help, it became bearable to deal with my parents' antagonism on my faith.

Until now, I have to relearn this golden lesson: Whenever a heated faith argument is at hand, I should ask God's wisdom and strength. I should pay respects to my parents and not force them to agree with me. I should listen and in the quietness of my heart, watch how God would intervene.

Therefore, I say that being good and looking good are entirely different ideas. At church where I was active, I looked good but at home lies the constant battle to be really good.

Goodness starts in God's wisdom. And wisdom starts in quietness. It's hard to do because I am really talkative and straightforward. I deeply thank God who patiently reminds me to be still for His name's sake. And when I fail, I praise Him more for He is always ready to forgive and mold me to become a better woman that He designed me to be. :)

My Homecoming

I am so happy and thankful today. God has blessed me His answer for a two-year prayer. He put me in a Bible school!

Actually, this thing is more than what I really wanted. Since I got to know Him, I loved diving into His word. My favorite part of the day is the time that I wake up in my room -- I could hear the birds chirping and see the sunlight peeping in my window. All the pessimism started to fade when I smiled thinking about Him as I began to sing. I sang from the depths of my heart like I was rehearsing for the final day that we will be seeing each other.

Then I would flip the Bible like a child reading her favorite fairy tale book. (The only difference is that what are in His book are real.) I would read about Him and memorize His promises. I collected gift bookmarks and stick on notes to carefully write small reflections on them. I remember how I put up with a few old highlighter pens to mark my favorite passages. Now I've got many but I seldom use them.

Surely I went through a slow fade, but this time, I rejoice because God just proved He wouldn't let me continuously drift away. This is the life that He bestowed me with -- and He would not allow my independence, self-pity and arrogance ruin His purpose for this life.

I am amazed in having this kind of privilege: living in a free country where I can cheaply study His word for a high cost, my transformation as a positive living witness of His love.

The desire to effectively witness to others becomes a burden in a positive way. I used to loathe it -- for I was overwhelmed with the troubles that pop out left and right. My 'me-and-myself' syndrome took over that small faith. And I plotted a battle plan to win over troubles, and so I drove this roller-coaster ride in high gear, until I get tired and tired.

Lately, through short reflections I learned how serious He is in communing with me. No wonder I was too hungry for His presence. Signing up for Bible school is the beginning of my repentance. This has been my heart's desire.

I longed to return to my first love -- the kind of love that doesn't hold back, doesn't count nor intend to hurt. The kind of love that swept me off my feet is just in my heart all along. He never left this place though I kept on walking away.

When I was sitting in that big room listening to my teacher, I could not explain the joy that I felt. Sitting with people who have different issues, seeing faces who long to get to know Him more and listening to laughter of satisfied souls assured me I was in the right place. It's like a homecoming.

I could not count how many homecomings I had in my seven-year relationship with Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter I guess. What's important is that He is always ready to welcome me back.

It's funny to realize that the happiness that I felt about my achievements couldn't compare to the joy that I have about Jesus' forgiveness. Being His child and the object of His affection is the best experience that a woman could ever have.

Now that I am becoming more dependent on His plan for this life, I must say that I become more excited to discover His surprises. I dare to see them with my own eyes and feel them with my own hands.